Tuesday, November 17, 2015

June 2015

I moved to Las Vegas. June 1st, 2014. Things have changed for me. There are many things for which I simply could not be prepared. I had a nice plan when I moved out here. I thought so at least. I want to share my plan in order to maybe get some feedback on where my mistakes happened. Yeah, I'm kinda self centered in the sense that I just want to feel better about my actions, but I think it's ok to seek affirmation.

First, the situation:

I was going to school. I was working two jobs. One job was pretty steady. I worked four nights a week and was on call for random days. The other job was very unstable. Maybe I would work once during the week. Sometimes twice. Sometimes not at all. My weekly earnings were just enough to cover my own expenses but a little shy to cover my share of the rent. I was very ashamed of this. My significant other at the time was putting up with a loser. Yeah, I was going to school. I had potential to be great and I believe that this is what might have given her hope and kept her covering for me.

Things happened.

My brother and mother lost their home which started a terrible family feud, I couldn't focus on my goals at hand, and to top it off, my mother found out in a terrible way that her oldest son partook on illegal recreational activities. I don't anymore. I grew up. But all of that led to me spiraling downward. I couldn't bare the disappointment not only from my family but from the love of my life. It was time to think Jaime! So I did.

Second, the plan:

Move to Las Vegas. It was one of our favorite places to visit. My girl and I would come to visit at least once a year. For her birthday, Valentine's day, anniversary, or just any time we felt like taking a trip. Why not Vegas? I did research. I saw that the job market was fair, population growing, rent was cheap, etc. I have never been one to slack off on jobs and I considered how bright my girl is and knew that we could make it in a new town. A town we already knew we liked and wasn't too far away from our families. What could go wrong? I talked it over with her, and with friends. It took some convincing to get her to agree, and she did.

Maybe that is where I went wrong. I had to convince her. Had she thought it a great idea from the beginning maybe everything might have gone according to plan.

So, I moved. Yep, just me. The plan was to come on my own and bring all of our belongings with me, including our two pet cats. Lucas and Puffy. I miss them. We took a trip to Vegas, this time not for fun but to look for a place to live. We found a two bedroom and two bathroom place for a fraction of the rent that we were paying in Los Angeles. It seemed too good to be true. We went back to L.A. and dealt with the rest of the moving from afar. It was exciting and sad at the same time. We found a place in March I think, so from then until I moved in June it was saying goodbye to friends, family, coworkers, everyone! The closer we got to the date of moving the sadder and more exciting everything became.

So why did I move on my own? Well, it was part of the plan. I moved, taking most of our things with me while she stayed with a luggage worth of things that she was going to live off of for three months at her parents. The idea was that she would keep her job in L.A. while I looked for a job in Vegas. If I wasn't able to find a job she would cover for me since she was going to be living with her parents and not paying rent. Great plan right? I found a job two weeks after my move. I was earning about as much as I did in L.A. already and I had just moved. I was again excited and sad at the same time. I was excited that everything seemed to be going according to plan but I was eternally sad because this was the longest I had ever been away from her in the last 7 years. Sure, she took vacations and visited her home country every once in a while but she would never leave for longer than two weeks at a time. So after a month of not seeing her, I was becoming border line depressed. Luckily we would find a way to visit each other at least once a month. So it wasn't so bad.

Where did things go wrong?